so i know its 2010..but alot happened in 2009 that not alot of people know about! well i started out the year pregnant and feeling wonderful..on january 27th my whole world was beginning to change..i got a call from one of my brothers friends at like midnight saying my brother was in the hospital he had had a heart attack..terrified as to what was going to happen i didnt go to work the next day and i called my mom to find out what was going on and if you had known..well she knew and i asked if he was ok and she got quiet and i knew..my brother had passed away the night before..i felt as though someone had just ripped my heart out..it was by far the worst feeling i had ever felt..and to top it off my husband was in the field..luckily he was able to come home early because i was pregnant and it was cause for my blood pressure to go up and cause something to happen..my parents came up to north carolina and my aunt and uncle came from virginia and i was going to eventually work through it cause i had my family and my wonderful husband and this little person growing inside of me..
febuary rolls around and we get to find out the sex of our baby..and low and behold it was a BOY!! you would have thought my husband had won the lottery!! haha..we were sooo excited..i called my mom and dad and they were really excited..and they had changed my due date to july 20th..my brothers birthday is july 23rd..it was like a gift from god that was going to put a little bit of my brother in our son..it was a very emotional time for us all..
sooo as the months are passing im getting bigger..haha..and we are all getting very excited about the arrival of our little boy..my mom came up in june for my baby shower and then again in july for 3 weeks..2 before i had him and the week after i had him..i was soooo blessed to have her there with me and i was soooo excited she was going to see the birth of her grandson..little did i know what was going to come in the following months..on july 23rd i was admitted to the hospital to have little joseph..(my brothers birthday) and i just started to cry..but he was late my an hour and 29 min and our little man came into the world on july 24th at 1:29am!! probably the most proud moment of my life..i felt as though my life was going to get back to normal..my mom had left because of the blood clots that she had in her legs..for those of you who dont know..my mom has been battling cancer for the last nine years..sooo my dad came and got her and they were going to go back to the doctor when they got home and have get them to thin out and try and get rid of them..
a couple months passed and we were having sooo much fun with our new little one..and once again my husband is in the field and my dad calls me and tell me that i need to come home because he didnt know how much longer my mom had..i was sooo confused not knowing how sick she really was..they never liked telling me things that they knew would upset me..sooo of course with my husband in the field..AGAIN i cant get ahold of him..soo when i finally did he said we would leave as soon as he got back..so we get to florida and i see my mom..it was like looking at someone else..she looked sooo different..she had lost so much weight and she wasnt talking as much..not the way you want to see someone who had your best friend and your hero your whole life..it made her happy though to know that her grandson and i were there..she could barely hold him but when she did she was like she used to be..talking and not wanting to sleep and smiling..it was an amazing thing to see..as it got to the end she slept for probablt 23 out of the 24 hours of the day..she wasnt eating..well she hadnt been eating since she left our house in august..and on the morning of the 27th of october..exactly 10 months to the day my brother had passed away..god had taken my best friend and now my guardian angel..
i stayed with my dad till december and then went to virginia for christmas with joseph and my husband and ended up coming back with him..this last year has been a rollar coaster of emotions for me..and a trying time on our marriage..its like god wanted to see how much i could take last year..well i def wouldnt have been able to take anything else..im just glad that my mom held out long enough to see her grandson..and i really think thats why she did..it saddens me and breaks my heart when i look at my son and know that he will never know his grandmother or his uncle..but it makes me feel better to know that they arent hurting anymore and that they have the best seat in the house to watch him grow..in heaven!!
